Thursday, February 28, 2013

Fee fraud failures

They all start to sound the same.

"I need your help moving XYZ million dollars out of a foreign country bank thing! Please contact me discretely, as we need to be discrete! Thank you!"

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about stupid advance fee fraud e-mails. Many people might know this as a "Nigerian scam", due to these originally specifying Nigeria as the country of origin. Which is total lies, but then again the whole thing is total lies.

Why am I bringing this up?

Well, because my author e-mail has recently been receiving a number of these messages. (If I remember, about a dozen over the past month or so.)  Every one from a different e-mail source, so they cannot be blocked completely. They just end up in my junk folder, where I don't even look at half of them before sending them to...where every dead e-mail goes.

I remember getting these when I was back in college, on my college e-mail account. I only got a couple, and I promptly deleted them then, just as I did with the ones I've been getting now. For a while, I thought that the whole novelty of such a scam had worn off, and people just weren't trying it any more. Obviously, I was wrong.

I suppose that's what I get for making my e-mail a matter of public record. C'est la vie. Either way, I suppose I can get some amusement over how pathetic these e-mails are. I still don't understand how these e-mails fool people, and I'm writing a fantasy book series about a conman!

So if you happen to get such an e-mail, you know what to do. Chuck it. Burn it. And move on with your life. (This public service message is brought to you by Thadrick Clant.)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A real pain in the neck

Literally. (And yes, I generally don't misuse that word.)

A couple of days ago I woke up having apparently pulled some muscle/tendon/ligament/something (some M.D. is probably yelling at his computer screen about me not knowing which), and it hurt like...well, to be blunt, like hell.

The result was me walking around with my head at approximately a thirty-degree angle and pain in my neck and shoulder any time I tried to move my head, shoulder, or do certain things with my right arm.

Can you say ouch?

As a result, I had to take a day or two off from actually doing much of anything, including typing. Also had to rub some nasty smelling cream on the thing, which was less that fun. This stank, because I was hoping to get some extra work in. Oh well, Thadrick Clant would understand.

Obviously, I'm feeling much better now, or I wouldn't be writing a blog post. I still can't tilt my head back without my muscles telling me I'm an idiot, but otherwise I'm okay. I should be completely better in the next two days or so, and by then I will have gotten back to work on authorshipdom (that is now a word, because I said so).

Let's just hope this doesn't happen any time in the near future. Or the far future, for that matter. My neck is NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AT AN ANGLE, thank you very much. (If you didn't guess I was a Josh Jepson fan by now, you now know.)

Well, onto writing things that aren't blog posts. Later!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Touring blogs for the wi...I mean, The End

Well, I agreed to do this blog tour thing regarding The End, which is totally rocking the Amazon charts right now. #1 in free anthologies is awesome, so let's keep it that way.

In case you needed extra enticement, here's an excerpt from one of the stories, "Empty Nest" by R. F. Dickson.

The seismographic station in Kilima Mbogo in southern Kenya detected it first, its needle beginning to scratch away shortly before midnight GMT. Minutes later, the Mt. Furi station in Ethiopia chimed in, followed by Ar Rayn in the Saudi peninsula and Mbarara in Uganda. Madagascar’s Ambohimpanompo station burst to life, Lusaka piped up in Zambia, and even Boshof perked up and brought South Africa to the party. Weaker activity was detected in Ankara, in Kabul, in Masuku. Across the globe, bleary-eyed seismologists roused from their beds and conferred with colleagues who’d been up all night monitoring the outbursts. They hurriedly examined the data pouring in from Africa, and determined Mother Earth was quite possibly gathering up for something big.
 
Actually, she was just clearing her throat.
 
“Hello?” her voice boomed from the East African Rift, shattering windows as far away as the East Coast of the United States, and sending tsunamis hurtling through the Indian Ocean to mercilessly pound the western end of Australia. “Oh my goodness,” she said somewhat more quietly, like an old grandmother who’d just spilled her tea. “It’s been so long, I’d forgotten what I sound like.” Despite her restraint, this utterance triggered avalanches in the Alps and the Himalayas. “Dear me, I guess I’ll have to whisper,” she said, this time with far less catastrophic results, only a few minor landslides up and down the length of the Rift. “Is there someone in charge I might possibly speak with?”

Talk about miscommunication. This section got my attention, because the mental picture of Mother Earth as a sweet old lady who causes massive earthquakes simply by talking is just the right blend of absurdity to make me laugh out loud.

Well, as you might expect, you can check it out on Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, or your other e-book retailer of choice. (I think I've linked at least one of those before, but I'll do it again here.)

Oh, and for the curious, here's the people who did the blog tour so far:
Nila White (http://nilaewhite.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/blog-tour-the-end/)
Michael J. Sullivan (http://www.riyria.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-end-visions-of-apocalypse-free.html)
Wilson Geiger (http://www.wilsongeiger.com/blog-tour-the-end-visions-of-apocalypse/)

Enjoy The End, everyone!